You might think she is just some girl you pass in the hall and she smiles and says hi. Waits for you to pass... then she starts to cry... thinking about what she wants and what she should do. Thinking about what is right and what is wrong. Thinking how much better life would be if he was her own. Thinking of you and knowing it will never happen she still loves you. You were her first love... and first breaker... you are her everything. You mean so much, and don’t even know it. There have been others, it is shown through her beautiful crying eyes. The others who she called a boyfriend to get back at you. ((You never cared though.)) And as she starts to realize that, she starts to cry once again. Knows that there is no use. No matter what you will always be the one for someone else. He will and only him. As she lies and is screaming this she realizes something is wrong. Wouldn’t life be great if he liked her back? Or it would be nice if she wasn’t alive? Maybe if she never knew him? Then she wouldn’t think about him so much. Leaving school, coming home, looking in the yearbook from last year, seeing his wonderful face and knowing this is right. She gets on the computer and always looks for his screen name first, even though she is too shy to talk to him. Runs up to him at school and as she does feels the tears come back because he is with her best friend<3 The friend she had known since first grade. The one who knows all her secrets, standing there and talking to him. As her friend runs to her and says how much she, too, loves him, once again the girl starts to cry. Knowing she is the lower one. Knowing her friend is better than her. Knowing she isn’t good enough for him. And this breaks the girls heart. The girl feels broken inside and she feels that nothing is right. She feels whatever she does, this will never change his mind. She wishes to be like her friend, but then she realizes all she has to do is be herself and if he doesn’t like that… Then she can move on knowing he doesn’t like her and never will. She wont change herself for a boy. She knows better than that. Even though she wishes she could, she can’t. And as this girl cries, she wishes she was dead. But the girl knows there are others that love her, and she wouldn’t want to hurt them. She still asks herself if she would die, what would he do? Would he care and would he talk about her? There are other people who have loved this girl as much as she loves him, but they are able to move on. And this girl can’t. She says everything is cool, she doesn’t want to fight with her friend. But she is crying. More than ever. She sits in the corner, box of tissues. Black all over her hands from her makeup. Nothing is right. And she knows it. Someone asks what’s wrong. And the girls knows there is no answer… because what are you supposed to say when nothing in the world is going good for you at all. Then this happens and you can’t believe it’s true. You wouldn’t see it coming, but the girl did. I guess she is smarter than you may think

 i`ve learned when you grow away from your friends you always find yourself hanging on to the one time you can remember you were all happy. in high school there is never just one romance. you will always want the things or guys you can`t have. people WiLL hurt you even if they might not mean to. kisses are not contracts & they don`t mean forever. just because people say i love you doesn`t mean that they do. long glances are twice as better than short. learning to forgive & forget is one of life`s many virtues. laugh when you fight for dumb reasons. always try to spend quality time with friends. go to sleep with a clear mind. .you`ll sleep better. the guy who loves you the most usually doesn`t have to say it because you can just feel it when he`s around. is it possible to be friends with someone you once loved ? some say yes, some say no. i think it depends on how much you loved them. if someone loves you, that doesn`t mean they`ll never hurt you. nothing can make you stay & nothing can make you leave. the heart only loves what it likes & hates what it doesn`t. when you think about him, is all you can do is remember your past ? or is all you can do is think about your future ? learning to forgive yourself after a mistake is always going to be hard. telling you one thing & doing another is wrong. no matter how many times you look back, never regret what you did. a part of me will always be with you. the heart is forever inexperienced, although it can be broken it keeps beating just the same. we love being in love & that`s the truth. to love is to admire with the heart. to admire is to love with the mind. the head never rules the heart, it just becomes it`s partner in crime. we know things better through love than knowledge. people who do not take chances or risks limit themseleves. people who say dreams never come true, never have had one that did. sometimes it takes a twist of fate to make a miracle. i don`t know whether to love you or hate you. a friend is a friend. . a lover is a lover. . being both just becomes too complicated. sometimes the best things in life really are free. breaking up is harder to do the longer you wait. love that we cannot have is the one that lasts the longests, hurts the deepest & feels the strongest. no one has even loved anyone. . the way everyone wants to be loved. we all want to be in love for the simple reason that it is the one experience that makes us feel like we truly belong. when you fall too fast you get burned. the hardest part of learning a love lesson is the part where you have to walk away. he may be perfect but he is human. a smile can change everything, a kiss can`t cure everything, & i`m sorry won`t work forever. a phone call has the power to make or break you. sometimes you just gotta go. sometimes you gotta call a past to help a future. it is possible to fall for someone. . no matter how quick you fall. there is pain no matter what. . the pain that comes before the love or the pain that comes when it`s all over. i still love you, i just don`t know what you are now. i love you, you change me. you love me, i change you. therefore you & i will never fully know each other because we are always changing one another. i feel so alive cause someone like you found me & suddenly nothing is the same

'Friends.' A simple word isn't it? It's uttered everyday to almost every person imaginable. Who are your friends? I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to. Now I know that friends aren't that, they're the people that touch your heart. You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just because it was with them. They're the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don't judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with. You all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs and smiles. You're tied together by love for the other. Friendship is one of the greatest things in the world. I find my time with my friends, the best times of my life. My friends are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, tears, love and my life

The only reason you

Said you loved me

Was so you could get

Closer to my best friend

Boy: you said you needed to talk to me

Girl: yea I did

Boy: so what did you need to talk to me about?

Girl: I hate you

Boy: is that all

Girl: yea

Boy: why

Girl: don’t fucking talk to me

Boy: what did I do

Girl: all that time you were trying to get closer to my best friend

Boy: no I loved you

Girl: whatever don’t talk to me

Boy: I cant do that

Girl: why because if you don’t talk to me you cant break my hart

Boy: no i thank about you to much and love you to much not to talk to you

Girl: I am not going to fall in to your trap again

Boy: what are you talking about

Girl: you will do the same thing you did last time we got together

Boy: I am different now I love you to much I just did not realize it till you were gone

Girl: well you have already fucked us up

Boy: just thank about this I LOVE YOU

(Girl thinks about it gets back together with him gets hurt worse than the first time)   

My friends helped me through

The hard times in my life

What did you do?

You caused them

What did I do?

What did I do to make

My life go so wrong?…

Getting together with you

That is what I did

Why did we get together?

If we were not going to stay together …

What is the problem?

I know we can’t

Make a friend ship

Hating ether other

So why try it?...

Why are we together

If it is not forever

I loved you

Key word loved

If we are not together

Why am I still hurting?

I want to let you go

I want to forget all the memories

I want to forget all we did

I want to forget about you

But I just can’t make my self believe that

We are not right for one another

Happy valentines day!!

like we really need another day
of the year to feel like crap
because we're single.
thanks to effin hallmark!

THINGS THAT MAKE LIFE WORTH LIVIN

Why A Daughter Needs A Dad...
1. to learn that when he says it will be okay soon, it will.
2. who will make sacrifices so she will not have to sacrifice.
3. to teach her that her value as a person is more than the way she looks.
4. who will laugh at her at the right times.
5. who will always have time to give her hugs and kisses.
6. who does not mind when she steps on his shoes while dancing.
7. who will always make sure she has a place to come home to.
8. who will never think she is too old to need him.
9. to make the family whole and complete.
10. who will not punish her for her mistakes, but help her learn from them.
11. to teach her to believe that she deserves to be treated well.
12. to teach her to accept the differences in others.
13. to teach her to weigh the consequences of her actions and make decisions accordingly.
14. so she will know what it is like to be somebody's favorite.
15. to tell her truthfully that she is the most beautiful of all.
16. to protect her from scary nighttime creatures.
17. to answer the questions that keep her awake at night.
18. to make the complex simple and the painful bearable.
19. to protect her from thunder and lightning.
20. to teach her that family is more important than work.
21. to be the safe spot she can always turn to.
22. to show her how it feels to be loved unselfishly.
23. to be the standard against which she will judge all men.
24. who will influence her life, even when he isn't with her.
25. to tell her that all is not hopeless, even when she feels it is.
26. to join her journey when she is too afraid to walk alone.
27. to make the tough decisions for her until she is able to make them for herself.
28. so that she will have at least one hero who will not let her down.
29. to tuck her in at night.
30. to help her take risks that will build her confidence.
31. who will let her know that while she may not be the center of someone else's world, she is the center of his.
32. to learn what she should expect from her husband.
33. to teach her what it means to always be there.
34. to teach her that a man's strength is not the force of his hand or his voice, but the kindness of his heart.
35. to teach her to be honest in all her dealings.
36. to help her try again whenever she fails.
37. to remind her of what she may not remember.
38. so that when no one else is there for her, she can close her eyes and see him.
39. to think highly of her when no one else will.
40. to hold her as she cries.
41. to carry her just because she wants to be carried.
42. who teaches her she is important by stopping what he is doing to watch her.
43. to remind her of the comfort of being held near and feeling secure.
44. to teach her to stand up for herself.
45. who gives her refuge in a home secured with faith.
46. to show her that true love is unconditional.
47. to teach her not to let pride get in the way of discovering new things.
48. to show her all the boys are not like the one who hurt her.
49. to stand with her on the day she marries the man she hopes will be just like her father.
50. because without him she will have less in her life than what she deserves.

I am so afraid to loose you

I could not move one with out you

As it takes millions of people

To fill the world

 It only takes you to fill mine

You are the best thing

That has ever happened to me

You are my shoulder to cry on

You are the one that puts me up when I am down

You are my life

You are the one I can trusted

You are the one that I can fall back on

You are the one that loves me
well I thought you were

The way you hold me hand

The way you kiss me

The way you show that you love me

It is all so perfect

I love you and I always will

That will never change

I can’t live with out your love

Your love is the reason I am the way I am

I would be nothing with out you

I want us to be together forever

But is hard to be forever

If were not together

I love you …..

Forever and always

How long is forever?

Because with you it

Only seems like a day

(Boy dials the phone number)

(Girl picks up)

Girl- hello

Boy-hey baby I love you

Girl-wrong number (hang up the phone)

Boy-(calls back)

Girl-(picks up the phone)

Boy-whats wrong

Girl- I am afraid

Boy- og what

Girl- you

Boy- why

Girl- you might break my hart ……again (hangs up the phone)

I say I have moved on

But inside I still love you

I wish you loved me

Like I love you

I told you I love you

Now I have to show you

It only takes a minute to tell you I love you

But it would take lifetime to show you how much I really do

Always remember that if a person loved you

Once even after 100 years there will still be

Some of that love no matter how much

That person denies it <\3

The first true love is the one you will always thank about

When there are games about love

When you are with another guy

When you are laying in bed

When you here your song

Even when you are over him

You will always have love for your first love

I know I love him

He knows he loves her

She knows she loves hem

She knows I love him

That is why she said (YES)

The only reason you

Said you loved me

Was so you could get

Closer to my best friend

Boy: you said you needed to talk to me

Girl: yea I did

Boy: so what did you need to talk to me about

Girl: I hate you

Boy: is that all

Girl: yea

Boy: why

Girl: don’t fucking talk to me

Boy: what did I do

Girl: all that time you were trying to get closer to my best friend

Boy: no I loved you

Girl: whatever don’t talk to me

Boy: I cant do that

Girl: why because if you don’t talk to me you cant break my hart

Boy: no thank about you to much and love you to much not to talk to me

Girl: I am not going to fall in to your trap again

Boy: what are you talking about

Girl: you will do the same thing you did last time we got together

Boy: I am different now I love you to much I just did not realize it till you were gone

Girl: well you have already fucked us up

Boy: just thank about this I LOVE YOU

My friends helped me through

The hard times in my life

What did you do?

You caused them

What did I do?

What did I do to make

My life go so wrong?…

Getting together with you

Why did we get together?

If we were not going to stay together …

What is the problem?

I know we can’t even

Make a friend ship

Hating ether other

Why are we together

If it is not forever

I loved you

Key word loved

If we are not together

Why am I still hurting?

I want to let you go

I want to forget all the memories

I want to forget all we did

I want to forget about you

But I just can’t make my self believe that

We are not right for one another

There’s something I need to tell you.
I love you, you know that.
But... I’m just so scared of so many things.
I’m scared of feeling this way,
I’m scared of being so vulnerable...
but most of all I’m scared of losing you.
I’m scared of getting hurt. But the thing is...
I think risking all that is worth it...

There are a lot of things about me
that aren't what you thought. But if you
love me, you have to love all things
about me -- Dirty Dancing

no matter how many times you see that shooting star.  no matter how many four leaf clovers you’ve picked there will never be enough coins thrown in that fountain and all those crossed fingers ; there - - w o r t h l e s s to be it will happen - - - -  on its OWN

It’s just the way you make me love you.

It was no accident, me finding you.

I'll alwas have you to hold and that's all i need to know

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend

She's lost in love just look in her eyes. It’s funny how you can grow away from your friends. When just a few years ago...they were the most important people in your life

If I had a zillion dollars & the whole world
on a string ; diamonds in my pockets & the
power of a king ; I don’t think I’d be any happier
than I am right now…

It’s amazing…when you fall in love…and things he said he’d never do, are all the sudden things he wants to do today

the worst thing you can do is let your head second guess your heart

welcome to a world; where being you…is just never enough

 when your thoughts revolve around
him && he's the one you feel the happiest with
there's just something about him you don't
see in other guys and when you're not with him,
the only place you want to be is in his arms..
That’s when you know it's real.

I wish I could close my heart once more and learn again to not feel.  Then, maybe I wouldn't care anymore.

You never really know who your true friends are
until tears are rolling down your cheeks.
True friends are the ones who are there
to wipe your tears and hold your hand.
Everyone else just stands around
doing absolutely nothing (how amazingly true)

When you least expect it -- something great might come along. Something better than you ever planned for. - Along Came Polly

"Prove to yourself that you can do it. Prove that you were always who you thought you were, not who they said you had to be." -R.S.

Everyone has someone out there that is perfect for them. I'm so glad I found my perfection.

I've discovered a secret to life. What you need is just to find somebody else who can fill that deep aching hole inside that you are always trying to kick dirt over and pretend isn't there

Looking in your eyes, I see paradise. This world that I've found is too good to be true. Standing here beside you I want so much to give you this love in my heart

heyy yall my normal site is http://www.xanga.com/All_4_him_01

I love you,

You love me,

What is the problem!

Love was just a

Lie till I meat you

I thought I loved you

You thought you loved me

Are we right….. i am

Some day you will cry for me like I cried for you

Some day you will miss me like I missed you

Some day you will love me like I loved you

But I will have moved on

I am not the girl that just forgives and forgets

And if I was something to you like you are to me

You would be just like that </3

You said you loved me

I thought it was true

Now it ends up like you never did

I thank i still love you

If love is a game I suck at it

If love is a game you suck at it

If love is a game we are grate for each other

I love you

You love her

She loves him

Where dose it end

If you love her tell her

If you like her tell her

If you hate her tell her

The thing is just tell her

Okay you know you love her

Now try telling her how you fill

When yall walk a way together

I wanted to die 

We were best friends,

We were in love,

Now we are going to mess that all up ,why </3

When I flirt with you,

I do it to make you jealous

Because I don’t love you anymore

If this is what it feels like to be loved

Then I don’t need any people to hate me

When I wanted you

You wanted her

Now that you want me

I thank you’ll just hurt me again

I youst to look at you

But now when I try all I see is …..

Lies

She cries too much over you

She hurts too much over you …

And when you comfort her

She knows you are just thanking

About her Best Friend

When you tell me you love me

It goes in one ear and out the other

I say I feel good,

And look good

I act like it is all good

But really it’s not

My imaginary friend thanks

You’re missing out on a great girl

Don’t give up on love because then

I might give up on you too

You tease me like you love me

But in the end you break my hart ……

Over and over again

I am crying so hard on the inside that

I can’t even talk </3

He flirts with me just for fun …..

I thank the definition of fun in his mind

Is, breaking my hart again and again

I’m crying so hard on the inside

That I can’t cry on the out side

So my hart doesn’t break again

In am just goanna forget, you exist 

When you smile at me

It just breaks my hart more

I want to know who he loves

But I am afraid it won’t be me </3

When you tell me you love me

I wish it would go in one ear and out the other

There is a part of me telling me to let go,

But there is another part of me telling me to keep a hold don you

Which one do I listen to?

I always thought you were the one I could love forever

But I guess i was wrong

When my heart was broken you didn’t

Put it back together’ my friends did

I hate my self for loving you!

I hate my self for listening to you!

I hate my self for believing you!

I love you

You love her

She loves him

It is a chain reaction </3

I thank you are the one for me

You thank she is the one for you

I thank you shouldn’t exist

So my heart wont break…again

You said you loved me….

I said I love you….

But it is just not working out,

and you don’t even care

I didn’t want to ask but I did….

So my heart is broke ….

again….

When we danced

All you were doing

Wes looking over my

shoulder at her

Why do you hate me,

You are the one that

broke us up, not me

what is wrong with you

are you trying to mess us

up for good ?

I have just now faced the fact

That is all we will ever going

To be is friends.

You are not the one for me

I have tired to let that go

But I just can’t give you on you

it is like I still have hope

We hate each other

you hate me

I hate you

Lets just go on with our lives </3

You are the reason I am like I am

I love you

Do you know that?

You don’t act like it

You’re the reason I wake up in the morning

You are the reason I go to sleep at night

You the reason I live ,

And you’re the reason I am dying slowly

How can I live with out you ?.....

I guess I will find out!

THE TRUTH iS...
iM N0T S0RRY..

Summertime has come and gone
All used up with wishful thinking

I will tear myself apart if you promise to paint me
as a work of art

If you want lies I can tell them
If you want lies I got 'em

A heart of stone, a smoking gun
I can give you life, I can take it away

Just tell me it's tearing you apart
Just tell me you cannot sleep

He's born a liar, he'll die a liar
Some things will never be different

&&it hurts all the time when you don't return my calls
&& you haven't got the time to remember how it was

If it can be broke then it can be fixed, if it can be fused then it can be split
If it can be lost then it can be won, if it can be touched then it can be turned

He said you're just as boring as everyone else
When you tut and you moan
And you squeal and you squelch
He said that you're just as boring as everyone else

She just can't sleep in her bed
She's falling down the stairs
She's tearing out her hair
She's screaming his name

You drink to laugh&&you drink to cry.

Just keep telling me lies. . .
&& keep making me smile

You told me you wanted to eat up my sadness
Well jump on, enjoy, you can gorge away

This modern love breaks me
This modern love wastes me

we cover our lies with handshakes and smiles
we try to remember our alibis

I wont forget everything that you put us through. Every night, I see you there. Everyday, I hate you. I've learned that crying can't carry you back to me.

My heart bleeds no more, now, it's been turned to stone.

The bright light beams from her
eyes like broken glass. . . Or a
broken heart, who would have
guessed?

Powerless I stand. A tarnished blade, cutting through, pushed into my vein...Blood still stains my hands.

Burn your bridge &&
wear your heart out on
your sleeve.You know
you can't ever fool me.

How can I say "I love you" back? You never made me happy.

As my legs start to shake, I feel nothing.
I wanted you, I needed you. But you weren't there.

You've laid yourself to sleep. I never said this wouldnt hurt. You gave up everything. I never said I'd give it back.

I hate you && everything
we once were.

&& N0W MY ST0MACH WILL FEEL SICK F0R S0ME0NE ELSE.

I'll slit my throat with the knife I pulled out of my spine.
Maybe when you find out that I'm dead, you'll realize
what you did to me.

I'll cross my heart and lie to you.

&& if my lungs still let me breathe
would you still be there for me?

SMASH MY HEART INT0 DUST
SUFF0CATE MY MIND.....TEAR
AT ME FR0M THE INSIDE.

Will you turn my black roses red?

Oh we're so young but so desperate for attention.

If you talk, you better walk && back your shit up
If you talk, you better walk && keep your mouth shut

IM BURNiNG && BLACKiNG MY LUNGS, BUT
YOU KNOW iT FEELS GOOD WITH FiRE BACK
ON YOUR TOUNGE

Here's the setting:
Fashion magazines line the walls
But now
The walls are lined with bullet holes

Well baby
we're just
a wetdream
for the
webzines.

She didn't choose this role
but she'll play it sincere,so
you'll cry...you'll cry

Have some composure && where is your posture?
Oh no no no... you're pulling the trigger all wrong...

Make us hit
Make us hip
Make us scene.

Is it still me who makes you sweat?  Am I the one you think about in bed?

I'm the new cancer, never looked better.  && you cant stand it.

Give me envy
Give me malice
Give me attention
Baby...
Give me a break.

I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck than any girl you'll ever meet... Sweetie, you had me.

Please leave all overcoats and tophats with the doorman.  And from that moment, you'll be out of place and underdressed.  I'm wreaking this evening already and loving every minute of it.

Take a trip to the ladies room in vain
No, you just cant keep up with these fashionistas
Tonight you are the whispering campaign
To them your name is "Cheap."  To them you
look like shit

i regret every word that i said
to ever make him feel like he
was something s p e c i a l .

every girl wants a "Prince Charming" .. and while that may be nice and all .. i’m thinking that i’d rather have the guy that’s going to call me at 4am just to say hi and that he couldn’t sleep because he missed me .. someone who will stop by my house after just hanging up the phone .. because he wants to see how i’m really doing. because i said i was fine, but we both know i’m lying .. or the guy who will stay home on a Saturday night with me because i’m sick .. he’ll bring me my favorite kind of candy .. even though i can’t eat it because my stomach flips at the idea .. the guy- that one guy ... he may not be Prince Charming to anyone else .. but he’d be my hero .. my ‘knight in shining armor’ .. anyone who’d stay home on a Saturday night and hold my hair back while i puke .. that’s a hero .. and a true love.

BABY, iM SLEEPiNG T0 DREAM 0F Y0U && iM DREAMiNG 0F SLEEPiNG NEXT T0 Y0U.

Hey love, where you going to?
You're not sleeping anymore, you're just trying to.
Stay love, where you running to?
Awful happens all the time, don't let it kill you.

I'm not always as confident as I seem ... there are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held. I love being held. Always. Sometimes I don't want to talk about what is bothering me ... sometimes I just want a hug ... someone who will let me cry. I like when boys cry in front of me -- when people aren't afraid to show what they're really feeling. I don't like when people run from their true feelings because it doesn't do anyone any good. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I am not naive. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I am all too familiar with what it means to be hurt. "I know what it's like to see something funny and not laugh." I've been taken advantage of, used, and abused. My feelings have been blatantly disregarded. But I still believe that all people are good at heart ... and my trust in people has not diminished. To be completely honest, I hope it never does. Ever. 

While youre at home
thinking about him...
you can be sure that
he's out having a
good time not thinking
about you.

"When I saw you going for her hand, I mean it's not like I wanted to be the one holding your hand, I just didn't want her holding it"

If only I don't bend and break
I'll meet you on the other side
I'll meet you in the light
If only I don't suffocate
I'll meet you in the morning when you wake

It's like when you are excited about a boy and you see a couple holding hands, and you feel so happy for them. And other times you see the same couple , and they make you so mad. Like, they've got the everything you've ever wanted.

i can see your sad, even when you smile, even
when you laugh, i can see it in you eyes, deep
inside you wanna cry ..because you're scared

Why do we find a need to trash talk other people in order to make us feel better about ourselves. Isn't that supposed to make us feel bad about yourself?

saying
"I LOVE YOU"
has nothing to do with
meaning it

Yeah hes fine. But theres just something else about him.
Something that makes my head light && stomach tight.

the tragedy is how
you're gonna spend
the rest of your nights.

Guys are complete asses all the time. Girls just have a special week out of every month to finally have an excuse to be a complete bitch about everything.

sometimes i just want to know what it’s like to be you
i used to waste my time dreaming of being alive
now i only waste my time dreaming of you <3

most girls think that they can change a player - but the truth is, it’s not possible - the player that needs to be changed .. is the girl .. cause every player is on a mission to find that one girl that makes him lose his desire to play

Love is like a puzzle.
When you're in love,
all the pieces fit
but when your heart gets broken,
it takes a while to get everything back together.

MEN WANT A W0MAN IN PUBLIC
&& A FREAK IN PRIVATE.

i’ve learned a lot over the last few months .. through fake smiles and unseen tears .. friends aren’t always forever .. love doesn’t always last .. happy moments go away fast .. so enjoy the things that go on now .. cause the good shit never lasts ...

if I go then I'm alone, but
if I stay then it will mean
waiting on my own...</3

I FEEL LIKE A BIG FAKER BECAUSE I'VE BEEN PUTTING MY LIFE BACK T0GETHER && N0B0DY KN0WS IT.

How do you cope when the one
you love is with somebody else
and there's nothing you can do
about it. How do you deal with
the fact that you had a chance but
you chose to turn away?

"Did you see my dad’s truck in the driveway when you drove up? It’s the one with the large crapper on top of it. It doesn’t say "Matthews’ Septic" on it, Kyle. It says "Matthews and Son’s Septic" on it. Look, if I don’t get into Maryland, my life is shit. Literally. . . And it’s not even my own shit."
--Matty, The Perfect Score

When I fall in love I take my time
There's no need to hurry when I'm making up my mind

"Wherever life takes you, big cities, small towns you will inevitably come across small minds. People who think they are better than you are. People who think that material things or being pretty or popular makes you a worthwhile human being. But none of these things matter unless you have a strength of character, integrity, sense of pride. And if you have these things, don't ever sell them. Don't ever sell out. So when you meet a person for the first time, please don't judge them by their station in life. Because who knows, that person just might end up being your best friend."

PLEASE BELIVE Y0U MIGHT STUMBLE && C0ME CL0SER T0 ME.

So what if I still like him &&
would do anything to get him
back? Doesnt change the
fact that he's over and done
with me.

50 THiNGS Y0U SH0UlD KN0W AB0UT GUYS
1. Guys hate sluts.
2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.
3. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up
as he goes.
5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
6. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.
7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.
8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.
10. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.
11. Guys get jealous easily.
12. Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.
13. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never
mind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.
14. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
15. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.
16. Girls are guys' weaknesses.
17. Guys are very open about themselves.
18. It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.
19. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
20. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
21. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
22. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.
23. Guys will brag about anything.
24. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you.
25. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.
26. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.
27. Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.
28. Try to be as straightforward as possible.
29. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be mature and grown up.
30. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.
31. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.
32. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
33. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.
34. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.
35. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.
36. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying,  "Please come and listen to me."
37. Guys don't really have final decisions.
38. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.
39. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.
40. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.
41. Guys like femininity not feebleness.
42. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
43. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
44. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.
45. Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.
46. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.
47. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.
48. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.
49. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.
50. No guy can handle all his problems by his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.

Bitter and hardened heart
Aching && waiting for life to start

ISNT IT NICE H0W
IM JUST DYING TO
BE HER?

&&suddenly he's afraid of commitment
giving her that textbook line "baby, i've
been hurt before and i want to be careful
with my heart."

D0NT C0ME CRYING T0 ME WHEN PE0PLE START TREATING Y0U THE WAY Y0U TREATED ME.

One girl looking out her window
One boy walking down the street
He didn't know it at the time
But when she saw him her heart skipped a beat.

Sometimes I think you should put a condom on your head, because if you're gonna act like a dick, you might as well dress like one too.

There were a lot of good looking men..But then he looked at me.
Suddenly it seemed like everyone and everything had disapeared.